Immigrant needs to be fierce for survival?

From the fierce woman in my Really Fierce post, I do realize this kind of attitude is not at all uncommon in Singapore; perhaps it does exist elsewhere too but I noticed this to be particular prevalent amongst fellow Singaporeans.

I recall many years ago, when I was a younger adult, a friend of mine told me he was unexpectedly admonished by his father when he, nonchalantly, gave way to another car filtering into the lane in front of him. Huh? (Yes, I don't think this is at all unfamiliar to Singaporeans.)

He thought nothing of it at first. He was driving the car and someone else wanted to filter into the lane in front of him so, as one would normally do, he let the other car into his lane. No issue, or so he thought. His father, who was sitting in the car too, was upset when he did that, and out came a sternly Hokkien-version of "Why you so kayu?" (kayu: lousy in Singlish)

Where did we learn to be so ... kiasu? (kiasu: In this case, in the 'I don't want to, or appear to, loose out even if it does not matter a teeny weeny bit' kind of way.)

Did we inherit this innate fear of coming across as the weakling from our forefathers? No?

Having had the chance to travel to a number of countries, including South East Asian countries, I couldn't help but notice that such peculiar crassitude is more common in fellow Singaporeans.

Another time, in a Bangkok restaurant, my wife and I noticed a Singaporean family on the next table. Well, as things sometimes go in Thailand, the food took a while to be served. Not that they were extremely slow, but in this case, it was slow enough for us to begin to wonder. My wife and I was just about to worry about our food and if our waiter had gotten our orders right; note that this is a mid-range eatery where the waiters are not that fluent in English.

This was when we heard the family at the next table calling for the waiter, in Singapore accented English, and probed, sarcastically, "Where's our food? You still cutting the vegetables ah?" The waitress went, in a dutifully compliant tone of voice, "Ka, ka" and something else, then scuttled away towards the kitchen. Five minutes later, our Singaporean family was at it again. This time, it was after they had their dishes, but the rice took a while longer to arrive. "You still boiling the rice ah?", went the lady of that family, like she was barking at her maid. Again, the waitress hurried into the kitchen.

Note that all that happened in the presence of their kids. I'm sure the kids will learn from this that it is perhaps their god given right to bark at people!

My wife, who by then was wearing a frown on her face – rolled her eyes in apparent disgust. I responded with a slight shaking of my head, hoping to, telepathically, tell her, without being too obvious, that these are the people who make us Singaporeans look bad. Well, after the dinner, just to be sure, I told her what I thought while we were having a little talk about the unpleasantness that we saw.

Come on, you are in another country! It doesn't look like you even bother to learn a little of their language, and you talk to them like you are their superior. Yes, you are a paying customer – so what!

Should I have told them off in their face? Honestly, I did entertain that thought, but that would make me no different to them. Besides, my wife and I were on a holiday and we were trying to relax.

People do need to realize that when they travel, their behavior, good or bad, reflects on Singaporeans in general.

The curious question is, where is the source of our aggressiveness? Did our forefathers, who were mainly immigrant, had to deliberately be bolder than thy neighbor in order to deal with the challenges that face new immigrants? Perhaps, to deal with possibly bullying from the early immigrant turned residents here? Plausibly?

Why so fierce, we Singaporeans? Something to do with our immigrant heritage, perhaps, or is it something else?